Star gazing

When it comes to the man-eaters of the celebrity world, Jordan must be the equivalent of a silicon enhanced black widow spider, and her love life seems to become more tangled and complicated day by day.

Just who is Jordan, let’s face it the Katie Price persona seems to be on permanent leave in 2010, dating at the moment?

Of course as we all know, poor little Peter Andre, the Aussie with the small body and the big voice, was the true love of Jordan’s life but it seems that her party animal ways finally got too much for him. There has been constant will they/won’t they talk about a reconciliation, and I expect those stories to continue surfacing throughout this year, but as an expert in both relationships and celebrities I think that the Jordan and Andre love story is well and truly over.

Jordan stated that she went back into television’s celebrity jungle to gain ’closure’ on their relationship but many believe that it was really an attempt to make Peter think about taking her back. When she realised that a) Peter had no desire to take her back, and b) the public had turned against her in unprecedented numbers she plunged headong into her crazy, party girl behaviour.

Which brings us to Alex Reid. Just what is she doing with this failed wannabe cage fighter? If she actually is doing anything at all. After her exit from the jungle she told the world’s media that she was splitting up with Reid but they are seemingly an item again. Reid’s stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house however has exposed him to the public for what he really is: a dull, rather strange looking egocentric who can barely string two words together and is being intimidated by ex-footballer Vinnie Jones. Jordan has no track record for putting up with wimps and so I fully expect Reid’s days to be numbered once his stint in front of the CBB cameras comes to an end.

Jordan has not been having quiet nights in front of the fire, reading Sartre with a glass of sherry, whilst her man has been ’inside’ however. She has hit the London party circuit with a vengeance and this is where she has been linked with her biggest name yet: Spurs and England striker Jermain Defoe.

There has been no official word on this odd couple (Jordan is twice the size of Defoe, but then she does have a track record with the smaller man) but the rumours persist. Defoe’s previously soaring form on the football pitch has dipped remarkably in recent weeks; maybe he is concentrating on scoring off the pitch instead of on the pitch?

Jordan would love to reinvent herself as a footballer’s WAG, if only to further aggravate her arch-rival Victoria ’Posh’ Beckham. If those two both make the trip to South Africa with the England football team this summer then there promises to be a battle equal to the one staged at Rorke’s Drift!

Jordan’s love life seems to be becoming increasingly complicated but my message to Jord is: ’You Go Girl!’ Her constant ups and downs put a smile on my face! Without her love life to occupy us we would have to think about the real issues of the day, and nobody wants to do that do they?

New reports suggest that Tiger Woods’ wife Elin has not yet left him. But speculation is high as to how long the marriage will last.

A source close to Tiger Woods said that the marriage is ‘definitely not over’. His wife had earlier made threats about taking their children and return to Sweden on a permanent basis, but Tiger has realised how much this will cost him and has managed to stop that from happening at least in the short term.

His wife could have signed his for divorce but she has not. There has been no indication from her that she has any plans to stay with Tiger, yet what is going on now is very important. Elin has been snapped a number of times without her wedding ring on.

Tiger is now undergoing rehabilitation for sex addiction in Mississippi, while Elin has halted her divorce proceeding, for now at least. Tiger has reportedly pledged that he is willing to do whatever is necessary to save his marriage and his children.

The thought of losing his two children was enough to convince Tiger to get himself to rehab. His wife could pay him a visit as part of the whole rehabilitation process. Part of the rehabilitation program also requires her to spend a whole week of counselling at the rehabilitation centre.

Tiger has been linked to at least a dozen women after the National Enquirer made revelations of an affair with nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel. Since then he has taken an indefinite break from his golfing commitments to concentrate on personal issues. He has also been dropped by many of his top sponsors who say he no longer fits their corporate image.

The million dollar question now is will he be able to rebuild his tarnished image and if his wife Elin will forgive him.

Last thing guys, I have just realized that I have been staring at my computer screen for the last couple of hours and am really tired of my House Wallpaper, I think it is time for a revamp, these and more updates coming soon!

Back in the thirties, things were a little different in the world of cinema. Fritz Lang was busy making ‘M’ and he wanted it to be as authentic as possible.

The movie told the story of a child-killer who is cleverly hunted down and Peter Lorre was the film’s unlikable star. After the killer is finally caught by a bunch of criminals, they decide to give him a good beating. Lang was known for being difficult to work with and at this point he was just not happy. The make-up artists could not give him the degree of realism he required, so he pushed Peter Lorre down a flight of stairs.

Of course, if this happened in the film world of today then law suits would be flying around within hours. But German expressionist cinema was all about creating art; and in art anything goes. Fritz Lang allegedly upset a lot of his actors, but this one of his nastiest outbursts.

The thing is that it all worked out very well. ‘M’ was (and still is) hailed as a classic and it jump-started Peter Lorre’s career. If he ever did harbour a grudge against Lang then it was never documented. Perhaps he thought the assault had actually been justified; ‘no pain, no gain’ and all that…

‘M’ is a remarkable piece of cinema and it tackles some very uncomfortable social issues. So many questions are raised in the movie; what we should do with child-killers, if the death penalty is a correct punishment, if the killer himself is a victim. The whole film tackles this horrible topic with a great maturity that was years ahead of its time. And when this was coupled with the artistry and sheer genius of Fritz Lang it resulted in huge success.

‘Talkies’ were only just beginning in cinema and this was Lang’s first work with sound. But even then his mastery kicked in; rather than being daunted by the prospect of an extra dimension to work with, he used it thoroughly to his advantage. The best example of this is the way the killer repeatedly whistles, ‘In the hall of the Mountain King’ from Peer Gynt. This adds some dramatic and disturbing aural imagery to the amazingly powerful visuals.

So, as you are probably aware when I am not actively writing, I am fixing up my house and on that note, I have just gotten hold of the nicest new set of shutters! They were quite a lot of money but totally worth it.

The actors of today are not quite the same as the actors of years gone by. There are a few decent ones that are enjoyable to watch, but I find that the majority of them are rather lacklustre. Many of the stars of today just do not seem to have the same presence about them.

When you think of old-school actors there are plenty of good ones to choose from. One of the greatest, for me, has to be Clint Eastwood. In the forty-odd years that he has been making movies there are only one or two that have been mediocre. He is versatile, charismatic and very enjoyable to watch.

Of course, one of his finest moments is the trilogy of Spaghetti Westerns that catapaulted him into the public eye. They are timeless classics that have frequently influenced, often mimicked and never bettered. Sergio Leone chose the right actors, music and stories; they are as close to perfection as you can get in the world of cinema.

But Eastwood has done many other things as well. He is not limited to playing a monosyllabic gunslinger. His Dirty Harry films were also iconic with their sardonic humour, gritty storylines and brilliant action sequences.

Apart from all that, Clint Eastwood has portrayed many other characters; a DJ, a street-fighter, a colonel, a country singer, a prisoner, a hunter. The list goes on and on. It is probably far easier to list the roles that Eastwood hasn’t played since getting into acting.

But acting is only one of Clint’s many talents. He is also a competent Jazz pianist and he has produced and directed many movies as well. There was even a two year period in the eighties where he held the position of Mayor in Carmel-by-the-Sea in California.

I am afraid that, for me, most young actors of today are not even in the same league as people like Clint Eastwood.

On a lighter note (hahaha), I have just gotten paid for the illustration work that I did on those banner stands the other day. Turns out that Nathan was right, and the black was a major improvement.

In Response to Great Wooden Actors #2 - The Testosterone Trio

Don’t you just love Eddie Murphy? If the answer is no, then don’t worry; Eddie has got more than enough love to go around for himself. In fact, if Eddie Murphy were to donate just a hundredth of the ‘love that he has for himself’ to charity then there would be no more wars in the world.

When ‘A Beverly Hills Cop’ was released in 1984 it shot the fast talking, smart-mouthed Eddie Murphy into the realms of super-stardom. The film soon became a franchise and the franchise soon became a bore.

Murphy has become well-known for having an ‘I’m-a-whole-lot better-than-you’ attitude. You don’t believe me? Try watching one of his God-awful movies; it will normally come across very clearly within the first few minutes.

Since hitting the big time, Eddie has appeared as ‘Eddie Murphy’ in hundreds of different roles; he is an absolute master of being Eddie Murphy on and off screen! He really is a genius (and he is very much aware of this as well).

Over the years, Eddie ‘We are not Worthy’ Murphy has starred in some blistering classics that will leave your ribs aching (from continual retching). The seminal ‘Coming to America’ ranks as one of the high points in his career of liking himself.

Murphy has also brought his own special blend of crude and unsavoury humour to many children’s films such as, ‘The Nutty Professor’ and ‘Dr. Doolittle’. He has succeeded in making parents cringe the world over as they sit watching his films with their children. This was epitomised when he leant his sacred voice to the Donkey in the Shrek movies.

Apparently, Eddie Murphy’s house is constructed entirely from magical mirrors which allow him to study himself from every possible angle and fully appreciate both his inner and outer beauty.

Is there anyone else who is familiar with that ridiculous USB gadget which keeps your coffee warm? I thought that I was the only person to have seen it until I saw this post. It also made me feel better to know that the one other person (that I am aware of) who has seen it apart from me thought that it was pretty crap as well.

There really are some stupid waste-of-space ‘USB compatible’ gadgets out there. With the popularity of computers that have got USB ports I am sure that there are also plenty more on the way.

One of my all time favorite singers is Alanis Morissette. Born on June 1, 1974 in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, Alanis grew up to become a famous Canadian-American singer and songwriter. She also was a record producer and occasionally did some acting as well.

I remember going through a hard time in my life with a romance gone very bad, and listening to Alanis Morissette’s music is what helped pull me through. Although, I love all her music, the album that inspired me the most was Jagged Little Pill. A lot of what she sang about in her songs in that album, I could relate to. That album alone is one of her best selling debut albums in the US by a female artist and has sold over 30 million copies worldwide.

So now I hear she is being featured in a showtime comedy called “Weeds”. She is playing a doctor called Audra Kitson who is caring for a pregnant woman named Nancy Botwin. She will be a seven-episode guest and I for one certainly can’t wait to watch her.

I have always loved her for her beautiful music and voice, but I bet she also rocks on the TV set as well. I guess I will have to watch her on TV and make a decision for myself.

Well I’m going to be eating economy food for another week, I just brought a pair of Brooks running shoes for the holiday. Rock on, no excusses now!